You Gotta Ac-cent-uate...

When you write, you may not always feel positive. You may feel complacent, or angry and vindictive. But if you allow such feelings to shape your writing, you will probably regret it. The anger will pass, but the words will stay. If you find yourself writing in anger, stop. Pound the desk or stomp the floor. Get it out of your system before you put it on paper.

Negative: Without your social security number, we can't trace your record.

Positive: If you will give us your social security number, we will be glad to trace your record.

Negative: Your order will not be processed until we hear from your representative.

Positive: We will be happy to process your order as soon as we hear from your representative.

Also check your work for multiple negatives. Such pairings, shown in brackets, are often impossible to untangle:

Confusing: Caffeine is a drug and is [not] lacking in [un]wanted side effects.

Improved: Caffeine is a drug with unwanted side affects.

Confusing: If you think of writing as a step-by-step process, you will [ never] have the sense of [not] knowing where to begin.

Improved: If you think of writing as a step-by-step process, you will always have a place to begin.


Give Your Writing a Smile

Avoid using inflammatory phrases such as we can' t, we won' t, you must, you have to, you neglected, you overlooked, you failed to, you claim, we will be forced to, etc. Such expressions make readers feel that you are writing down to them. On the other hand, if you treat them the way you would like to be treated, if you try to send positive messages, you will probably receive positive messages in return.

There may be times, however, when positive expression alone will not help you fulfill your purpose. When that time comes, discuss the circumstances with someone whose judgment you trust.

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What's Your Point of View?

All writing has a point of view. Should you write yours in first person, second person, or third person? Choose the one that suits the circumstances -- especially your role in the circumstances. Once you make your choice, stick with it. Don't shift from one point of view to another.

First Person

You can tell your story from your point of view, using the personal pronoun I, when your role in the circumstances is crucial or will help clarify your message. If you choose first person, let your readers see the I point of view as soon as possible, preferably in the first paragraph. Readers are more comfortable, more receptive, then they can determine a writer's point of view at the outset.

Second Person

Choose the second-person point of view when you want to talk directly to your readers, when you want to address them as you. Use this point of new in sales letters, proposals, and other kinds of persuasive or descriptive writing when you want to create a sincere, informal atmosphere. What you are reading now, for example, is written in second person. It establishes (I hope) a kind of face-to-face, informal relationship between you and me.

Third Person

Choose third person when you want to focus on the what rather than on the who, when you want to be as objective as possible. Third person is the most common point of view in business writing because people on the job are usually writing more about situations and circumstances than they are about themselves or other people. When you write in third person, do not refer to yourself as you would in first person, and do not "talk" to the reader as you would in second person.

Point of View and Persuasion

When you set out to persuade readers to take some form of action, they will be listening for the sound of their own wants. They will be scrutinizing your message for anything that will give them reason for going along. You must therefore avoid the I-me-we syndrome, and put the emphasis on you and your. A message that begins with Your business will benefit from is more persuasive than one that starts with Our service will help you....

Legal Implications

Finally, if your company has legal representatives or contract administrators, ask them to explain how point of view is related to commitment in correspondence, or in any kind of writing where first, second, or third person may or may not imply a personal or organizational commitment.

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Don't Lose Your Reader's Trust

Careless or wishful statements will destroy a reader's trust in your judgment and in your ability to present your information honestly and objectively. Scan what you write and eliminate or revise any statements that imply bias or irrational arguments. Once lost, credibility is seldom regained.

Avoid Careless Statements

If you check your writing carefully, you’ll avoid the kind of blunder that happened when a senior executive wrote to a potential client. The letter opened with the client's name, John Doolen, his address, and then began, Dear Bill.... Readers rarely forgive us for even the smallest mistake, concluding that if we are careless on paper we must also be careless on the job.

An insurance company letter began this way: Rental car collision insurance is in excess of other coverage, and reimburses you for losses not covered by the. The sentence stopped there, leaving readers adrift. An attorney's letter to a client included the statement, We are to be paid only in the event a recovery in made and your are not responsible for recovery costs.

The most damaging form of carelessness is the careless thought, thrown down quickly with little or no regard for what is being said: Our business processes must be both business wise, sound. and have ownership of the employees. I don't know about you, but I don't want to be owned by somebody's business processes. The writer probably meant …and have ownership (BY) the employees.

One writer set out to congratulate the mothers of the world, but got a laugh instead: We have moms with babies who get up at night to care for them. Mothers should be so lucky. The mayor who wrote the following opinion ended up apologizing to a lot of teenagers. There are still problems in our community that need solutions: speeders, vagrants and juveniles, for example. There is no crime in being a juvenile. He meant to say juvenile offenders, but that's not what he wrote.

Don’t Let Wishful Statements Spoil Your Credibility

Wishful statements end up on paper because we have either lost control of our objectivity or we have failed to apply the test of reason to what we are saying. The writer who says The only way to improve customer relations is to start a public relations program is overlooking any other possibility.

Another writer assumes far too much when she says, If the researchers at Bell Labs had not gotten lucky, the transistor would never have been invented. A graphic designer's brochure talks about his top-notch staff...award- winning specialists...masters of their craft...sought-after designer...has no limitations. He forgot to add, walks on water.

Most readers become immediately suspicious when they see absolutes such as never, always, only, etc. Look carefully at what you have written. Have you called a situation disastrous when you really mean undesirable? Is something impossible or just difficult? Don't let your writing control you. Choose words carefully, and keep your writing in touch with reality.

Finally, don't try to nudge readers into drawing conclusions that you have not properly established. Be careful when you make assertions such as obviously, therefore, as you can see, as a result, and needless to say. It may be needless to you, but your readers may disagree.

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Writing is Rewriting

Rare is the writer who gets it right the first time. Most first drafts are flawed and need to be fixed. If you skip this step, readers will come to an early conclusion: flawed writing, flawed writer. Remember our truism: Bad writing makes smart people look dumb.

Be on the lookout for unnecessary abstractions, cliches, jargon, coined and clipped words, unexplained acronyms, and senator Maury Maverick's infamous world of gobbledygook.

The Fog Versus the Concrete

Abstract words and phrases are hard for readers to understand because they are open to interpretation. If you are writing about silver dollars and the Franklin Mint, don't write "antique coin" and "coin manufacturer." Those are abstractions. On the other hand, "silver dollar" and "Franklin Mint" are concrete terms.

Abstractions have their place, but should never be used when detail is needed. Readers trying to find real information in abstract writing often call out, "This is fluff, blue sky, fog, motherhood, smoke screen," or something less complimentary.

Get to Know Cliches

Cliches show up in conversation and in all kinds of writing because they can summarize a train of thought in a few words. Someone trying to explain the causes behind a particular effect may give up and say, "That's the way the cookie crumbles." If you choose a cliche or any other expression that has been around for a long time, make sure it justifies itself within the context of your purpose.

The final test will always be this: Will it help readers better understand what you are trying to convey? And, as always, keep your reader in mind. If your boss asked you to justify your budget over-run last quarter, you would be ill-advised to write, "That's the way the cookie crumbles."

The Secret World of Jargon

Often identified as the most damaging fault of bad business writing, jargon is similar to abstractions and cliches in that it can have a legitimate role in business writing. Unfortunately, the role of jargon is often misunderstood or misused.

Jargon is a communication shortcut, and often saves time when we are communicating with someone who knows what we're talking about. Too often, though, we pass jargon on to others who do not know, people who are too distant from our immediate circle to know our unique "shop talk."

Jargon should be used only within our respective circles, circles that are typically much smaller than we think. There is no guarantee, for example, that managers and supervisors will understand jargon created by their own subordinates.

When you write, you must continually try to judge the location of the jargon "border," that invisible line that separates those who will understand from those who will not.

Remember: Misuse of jargon is perhaps the most damaging fault of bad business writing because the writer does not take the time to analyze the audience.

Coin One, Clip Another

Coined words represent our desire to be creative, to invent new terms and expressions that we think will be more descriptive than anything the language has to offer. Such attempts usually backfire, however.

One writer created the term vanized, believing it to be a new and inventive way of referring to surveillance equipment that had been modified to fit in a van. Unfortunately, he forgot to share the meaning with his readers.

Clipped words illustrate our continual efforts to condense the language, to speed communication as much as possible. We can say hype faster than we can say hyperbole, sync faster than synchronization. Like jargon, clipped words can help us communicate quickly and effectively when the occasion warrants, but are always suspect in formal writing.

BCWA...("Be Careful With Acronyms")

Like jargon and clipped words, acronyms represent one more communications shortcut. For example, you may choose to write SPEBSQSA instead of Society for the Preservation and Encouragement of Barber Shop Quartet Singing in America. There is no harm in this -- if you are writing to members of the society who know the acronym.

But if you're not, and you neglect to tell your readers what SPEBSQSA stands for, you will give them the impression that you don't care if they understand or not. Along with the wrongful use of jargon, the growing abundance of unexplained acronyms is another major flaw in failed business writing.

Now That's a Real Turkey

In the 1940's, Texas senator Maury Maverick ordered his staff to stop writing cliches, abstractions and other political doubletalk, ending his own memo with, "Anyone who uses 'affectation' will be shot." His crusade failed, unfortunately, and all that remains is the term he coined, gobbledygook, referring to his caricature of pompous politicians strutting around like turkeys, spewing meaningless versions of the language.

You know you are in for gobbledygook when a memo or speech begins with something like, "It has been ascertained that if a significant reversal of determinants initiates a value-added...." Gobbledygook is a combination of many faults, including jargon, cliches, mangled grammar, abstractions, and vague subjects and verbs. It is the language of concealment and evasion. As one political scientist observed, "To subvert an organization, you must first subvert the language."

Finally, when you have finished editing your material, ask an objective someone to look at your work. Objective reviewers often find flaws that we cannot.

Pardon My Soapbox

Like the politics of the Middle East, gun control, and the drug problem, writing in general -- and business writing in particular -- is sure to start a lively debate. If you have ever joined such a discussion, you know how difficult it is to find two people who agree without exception.

Eventually we give up, acknowledging that each of us has a unique and evolving relationship with the language, one that began when our ears were barely big enough to hear the mix of sounds around us.

Today, we subconsciously blend teachings from the past with the needs of the now, and always with a variety of writing styles, approaches and preferences. Yours is yours, mine is mine. People across the hall may follow old school guidelines while someone else prefers the latest editorial software. Sooner or later we have to end the debate, assess our situation, and set realistic goals.

When you set your own goals as a communicator, you may be tempted to say, "I want to be the best business writer in the world." If that's what you truly want, then I will clang the symbols and praise your name throughout the land.

But if you'd rather begin with something less cosmic, something a bit simpler, you could begin with "I am going to improve my skills at least to the point where I am no longer criticized for the way I write." Once you reach that level, anything else you do to improve can only make your life more rewarding, both in and out of the office.